Bread and Butter Face

You will be pleased to hear I have commissioned myself a new project. On its completion, the USA will be a little less sexist. Which is a good thing. I am making no judgement about the levels of sexism in America, nor pointing the finger generally (or specifically) at anyone.  I am referring primarily to the use of phrase ‘Butterface’ (aka, butter face or buttaface). It describes a woman who is attractive with the exception of her face. But where is the male equivalent?

In the UK we opt for a more politically correct phrase known as a Bobfoc. ‘Body off Baywatch, face off Crime Watch’. Gender neutral, whilst still keeping the efficiency of single word when you need to draw people’s attention quickly to such a person in public.

If history has taught us anything, trying to force the English way on our American friends is probably not the way to go. In truth, I cannot see a situation where that is the only thing history could have taught us. Maybe some of the pages got torn out the book, in fact maybe all the pages except one, so now there is just one page and the cover remaining… It’s a shame not to use the same phrase, as Bobfoc beautifully combines a popular American fictional drama and a non-fictional English classic. There is something better to say here, I just can’t put my finger on it. Any ideas, please let me know.

Baywatch/Crimewatch audio mashup should really be here, but sadly it’s not finished, although it is now on ‘the list’. Here’s a sneak peak on the lyrics…

Some people stand in the darkness

Afraid to step into the light

It’s because although they have a body off Baywatch

They also have a face off Crime Watch


A work in progress…

Anyway… the point is I decided it’s best to choose a male equivalent for the Americans to use. The world of web had a couple of suggestions…

  • Buttisface. Lazy, too obvious. It sounds like you are just saying  “But his face…” Which you are. So surely that defeats the point?
  • Prawns. As in ‘tasty, but lose the head’. Problem is a prawn is a prawn. It’s a nice sentiment, but I think it should at the very least be called prawnhead. Still, no. 

I would like to suggest Breadface. If your face was made of bread, it would likely be less attractive than your body, it also goes nicely alongside Butterface (as in bread and butter), and it is an anagram of beard – mostly found on the faces of men.

I should really talk about visiting my friend Nick in Geneva/Chamonix, watching Trygve Wakenshaw, hearing Arttu Palmio, or going on a Beaver Scout camping weekend and dressing up as Captain Jack Sparrow… But I’ve run out of time talking about people with beautiful bodies and ugly faces. Oh well, a couple of outtakes to finish off…


Woman on a train in a heated drunken argument:

 “I have every right to my racism!” 

French Pilot:

“We are about to begin our descent into Geneva in the next 20 minutes. The weather in Geneva is ermm errr (cleary looks out of window) it’s cloudy…. blah blah blah.”

Captain’s Quarters:

  • A feature length film called Cats away, where the cast of cats get stuck on a deserted island with Tom Hanks.

That’s all. Until next time!


Russell Stevens for introducing me to the phrase Bobfoc

Jared McFarland for introducing me to the phrase Butterface






2 thoughts on “Bread and Butter Face

  1. As it so happens this is an issue I have wrestled with previously.

    I guess one would have to simply replace crimewatch with a relevant US show. May I humbly suggest the Walking Dead as a suitable American show to be synonymous with a face one would rather not view? This would result in BOBFOWD, which may be different enough to avoid confusion.

    But what do you say if they have a nice face but a less than desirable physique? In the UK we can say BOCFOB instead of BOBFOC. In the US this would be BOWDFOB.

    The conundrum thickens. For is the UK vs US distinction the persons being described or the describee? If a person from the UK is describing an American are they a BOBFOC or a BOBFOWD? And what is the person is half British half American? Do we combine the two with an ‘or’ option? Thereby having BOBFOCOWD? (Or alternatively BOBFOWDOC).

    And then what if someone had a particularly fancy left arm? Or a repulsive behind? Can we have a LAOBRAOC (left arm of bay watch, right arm of crimewatch, or for our US chums, a LAOBRAOWD).

    I need to go to bed

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like it, definitely more food for thought. I suppose it follows too that if someone has a body and face from Baywatch, you can just use the actor or character’s name? Once you’ve finished arguing about which character was the most attractive, and which actor playing that character was the better looker… Oh, and if the shortened version should refer to their first or last name?? For example, Mitch Buchannon could be a Mitch, a Buchannon, a David, a Hasselhoff, a Dwayne, a Rock or a Johnson. My vote would be on “a Mitch” but in this example we have totally overlooked Matt Brody. It’s certainly a hard nut surrounded by worms in a can that can only be discovered if you open Pandora’s box.


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